22 somehwat immutable laws of evaluation

Sure, there's lots of immutable laws.

In fact, my Ottawa flackbloggermate (oooh, a neologism!) Canuckflack is responsible for several of them.

So here's my contribution to this growing (and only fitfully tongue-in-cheek) list of laws. Anyone else got some?

The 22 somewhat immutable laws of PR evaluation

1. You don't have enough money.
2. If you had the new software, you'd be able to calculate ROI.
3. The advertising people are bastards.
4. Katie Paine is right.
5. Ad value is bullshit.
6. Sure, you could stop counting hits. But what would you give the CEO?
7. Is it better to have David Warren write about you positively or negatively in his column?
8. If your criteria is quality of food associated with evaluation method, focus groups are the BEST.
9. That omnibus study just won't do for an organization as important as YOURS. You need some custom work.
10. Sure, we'll evaluate our blogosphere positioning... as soon as we deal with old media.
11. How come the ad people can draw a direct line between their ads and sales and we can't?
12. Because they're BASTARDS.
13. How can we do good evaluation when we don't know what the goal is?
14. How can we set goals if we don't know where we are?
15. Nobody can evaluate the blogosphere.
16. But someone will, soon, very well. Maybe these guys. Maybe not.
17. The person who can find the formula to relate public relations activities to financial outcomes will RULE THE WORLD.
18. There is no formula to relate public relations activities to financial outcomes
19. You can't evaluate everything perfectly. So evaluate some things well.
20. If you don't put it in the project budget, it won't happen.
21. If you don't talk about it at EVERY project meeting, it won't happen.
22. I don't care if people like me or people hate me. As long as I'm popular.

Ciao,
Bob.

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